Charlie Guilderson         


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Frustrating years of knowledge in unrelenting stupidity

It's like wasted years of the shanghaied

To witness years of bad cycles

Human folly would be the norm over the exception of wisdom

To suffer unbelievable cruelty of the mind

My only task was not to translate this into my actions

To me ,it was a horrendous job


    Like a lot of today's peoples, I have a short attention span. So I tend to cater toward getting the message in a few lines

Yes these little burbs are over simplifications but cut to core meaning to me   


April 27, 2015 08:53 PM


Face it


You think I'm queer in the head, and I think the same of you

Why force a meeting of the minds

Do you want to be responsible for the nucelar winter after the explosion?



No Free expression


Then so, If I`m not allowed to express my anger towards you

Then don`t bug me




Why would I want to be in the presence of a person that brings out the worst in me

I try my best to behave, but can only endure so much torture, before I react

Then she'd be right in saying I'm a party pooping grouch



I think I know why I don't fit into the picture

It's because I'm not supposed to be here

And because I don't jive with their system

I don't appear to fit in



She casts spells that are supposed to be love

But like bad drugs they case phychosis

That's why I totally ignor her




Why am I getting this angry phychotic reaction from people

I'm supposed to be the unstable one

All I can say is take a pill, I certainly had to




The more she tries to dismiss me as an idiot

The more I don't want any thing to do with her

I don't want her poisions, make me react in such a manner, that I appear to be the bad guy



I'm not going to let her mug me of my dignity and well being

I have rights to, and I'm going to exercise them



Yes, being over ruled is a kick in the groin

I know it's done to spite me



I must warn you

I don't do obey

If I think I'm being setup for failure




Police end up killing scores of agitated peoples yearly

It's their need to have complete control that escalates the situations

If they just learn to back off



Why waste my time trying to explain an inity

thats trying to make me look like a hysterical idiot?

The only way to lick it is to deny it's existance

It's only matters if you let it.

It may seem heartless, but its self preservation

Like the expression, "Devil is in the details"

Then why would I release the details?




I know why I was getting the silent treatment

Because I wouldn't let them bully me around



I will not serve

I think it's a fools job

There isn't any thing in it for me any ways

Of course I didn't say what I didn't want to be in service to

It's a matter of what it is I guess




Why would I want to try to interpret the goobly goop?

It's just what it is

If you have to deal with it then it's just unfortunate

Maybe it means you've been too self righteous and high and mighty





Yes, I'm supposed to believe your a female force

Bent on finding fault in me and damn with reprimand

I suppose if I play my cards wrong I could come of looking like a woman hater

Or at least a paranoid




I suppose I should have warned you

I use such language as not to prejudice myself

I've been playing this stupid game for years

So I suppose new commers get taken by surprise


The struggle seems to be with within to-day

Just when I think I think got it licked I conflict inwards

I got to get a life. LOL


I feel quite fortunate that I know your ways

You intent to try to intimidate with bluff

I know you don't want to engage

I just simipily rebuff your charge

And you just deflect off





This sea of delusion I navagate very well of late

It seems to be a kinder passage now

Maybe I'm more at ease at the wheel because I'm finially seasoned to fit form

The mermaids seem to be more inviting to



I'm not knocking what I know about your value system

I'm just saying , "To each his own"

I don't think you know enough about me to make judgments either





You know what I think the problem is.

To many cooks in the kitchen .



Of course I won't go on your turf because I'd be treated as a threat

I highly doubt if you want to go on my turf because you'd be out of your comfort zone




To publicly flatter one self is probably a setup to ridicule, right?



Some people have no insight on how horrible they can be

They just try to twist it around on you like it's your fault



Stop trying to make me dream of the impossible instead of the possible

I think if I achived even just a little of the obtainable, it would be wild beyond my dreams



Yes, I realize you can lose yourself trying to please difficult, and needy people



Why would I try to follow something that appears as queer as the flight of the bumble bee

I`d look pretty strange being a disciple of mayhem or what ever




What cheeses me off is people that want you at their service

But don't want to bother to treat you with respect

If you say something about it, it`s treated as if you lost your mind

It just don`t seem fair to have to behave, and not get the same treatment back

I guess it boils down to the old saying, `Why set yourself up for martyrdom?``



I guess I'm a real bore because I don't want to embrace the lies

They seem to think your no fun if you don't take advantage of the opportunities to build myths

I don't like to pretend, because I think I'm pretty interesting by my self

I guess I'm easily entertained if it rings of truth




Sociopaths rule


I hate to say it if sociopaths rule

Then I'm a rebel

Why am I of all people using labels?

I guess if your being maligned by labels you back lash

I'm probably playing a dangerous game I can't win at

Maybe if I abstain from the game all together,

 I might fair better





Your such a pathetic liar

That I just let you get away with your lies

I find it more expedient not to catch you up in your web of deceit

But you prove to me again your intent

There's not doubt in my mind any more



Fist of all I'm not a predator.

I don't want to try bag a kill for the top dog.

I don't like being bugged to help some asshole fulfill his needs

Like I said before, I'm me, not a slave to someone's agenda 


Why act out these tragedies?

The lessons have already been learned

I don't want to channel a fool for theatre effect

I'm not that much of romantic to jeopardise my well being




I know some things

There is no celestial reward of a harem of virgins waiting for me

I'm not taking the deadly Kool-Aid to help well meaning space travelers to take me to a new planet

I don't even believe there is an earthy endowment for me if I behave my self

I guess that doesn't necessarily make me a smart man, but I'm certainly not stupid

I live in the moment , and won't let charismatic fools spoil that





What is the good of extreme sensitivity if it just makes you open to pain?

Drugs don't open doors ,but opens traps, or cans of worms

The impressionable young must protect themselves

They must be warned about the dangers, if they'll listen





I think because I've become almost impermeable to her

She's resorted to trying to poison my friends

That way she can keep me in hot water



I really don't mind strong female figures

Just don't want to be that worm of a man

I really don't want to get into a pitched battle with you

Your hateful side is much more well developed than mine

I 'm sure you have lots of reason to hate, because you've been around

But I don't want to learn all about it



It's not hatred

It's just a deep mistrust




It's amazing how some people put so much value in their persona

But are so fragile

I thought I'd get the embarrassing you over with



What is this, an unreality show?

I don't mind fantasy, but if it gets in the way of day to day activities

Then it's a problem of mythic proportions

I don't think you want me to be a useful contributor

I think you just want me to suck at it

That way you'll have all the power and prestige




What I don't get, why are your opinions important to me any ways?

You dismiss me and my opinions,

So why should I be concerned?




I absolutely refuse to try to communicate this way

Why do you trust the median?




I don't care if your working your way through college

Or need another associate in your multi-level marketing scheme

I'm not game for it



I don't want to get wasted and just let loose the channelling nonsense

I respect my person to much to let these fowl little essences permeate

First their very fresh and hip but they soon petrify like old stink hose





Openpockets has been a outlet of anger and frustration for me for a few years

I suspect it has kept me from acting out inappropriately in many ways

I don't get much feed back on the postings, so I assume my readership is low or not that steady

But it's still worth it to me as a release and rational containment of my thoughts

I'm really a very unassuming , and below the radar type, which goes natural

I'm not plotting my great revenge in a final terrorist rampage

So I suspect that openpockets will live as long as I do as long I still have the sense to pay my hosting fee


Why would I share my vulnerabilities with wolves?

Only when I'm in good trust worthy company




You seem to suggest that I've gone over the line

But in fact I don't even acknowledge your suggestions




Is the fact I won't behave for you

the reason your trying to scare the hell out of me?

I suppose if I'm really scared , I might be putty in your hands?


You isolate me , then you expect me to be benevolent

Your not the only game in town



I have all the confidence of a condemned man

A condemned man most surly must know the score

So don't think your going to shake my confidence or resolve


It's simple

It is what it is, and nothing more

Horseshit is just horseshit

There is nothing to derive from it

Like taking drugs just to get flabbergasted

A waste of brain cells




Let's face it

She's a malcontent

I can see it her way sometimes

But why risk hurting my self and others to help her prove her points

There is nothing in it for me or the Sweet Host

Maybe she should take some of the responsibility for the woes of the world

The Blinded Nightingale that is


Is getting drunk sort of a self seducing act?



I don't want to act out a post war romance

About a conquering war hero, who hooks up with an occupied Fräulein

My part is stupid and her part is just plain demeaning




I don't want risk a meeting of the minds

Because I'll be saying things you don't want to hear

At arms length I could strand take a lot of abuse from you

That's why I don't respond to your summons 




These so called commutations are all one way in tact

To me their instruments of torture

I seem to  bne the nice guy that get trapped to take the  punishment for what all the bad guys done

Gees , give me a break





The reason I hurtle abuse at you is that you don't seem to know enough to leave me alone.

I find your self righteousness very toxic and intrusive


As you may have guessed, it's about power

Power of self

I'm not the type to go with the flow just for going with the flow

If something goes against my sensibilities then I'll resist

I don't drink because I don't want to be weak

I've over written many of a to be bad scenarios



Isn't it obvious?

 I don't want you to toy with me any more

It's one reason I quit drinking

I'm not waiting around for your tidbits

I'm to self respecting to be dazzled by your spectacles

I don't want to sell myself short



Her jealous guard over me is so stifling and embarrassing

I don't know how to have fun any more

Some misguided people seem to think jealously is a virtue

I say its disgusting and nothing to be flattered about



You don't forgive when you can't trust




I can't help people that drink like fish

And they sure can't help me


You expect empathy of me

But your not respecting of me




Even if I thought there was a shred of truth in your thoughts

I won't allow myself to be induced into channelling them.

As I said before there is nothing in it for me except maybe ridicule

I'm not allowing you to set me up for martyrdom 



Look, if you think I'm a strange bird then ignore me

I'm not threatening to you way of life

If I cramp your sensibilities then don't try to work with me

I can conduct my activities in a very unobtrusive manner

It's when you try to fix me the conflict starts



I'm pretty tired of the ten foot pole prods

Can't you do any better in your efforts to turn me around? 



You can't win me over with your extortion

I don't appreciate your gangsta charm



Aw yes, the name openpockets.

 Why did I choose it?

I little voice told me.

Probably a suggestion I should have resisted too

It was kind of a John Lennon kind of play on words

If it exudes other meaning, then I can relate to his frustrations

I hope I don't get shot !! LOL




A pretty face can seem to tell quite a story

But I learned that its not always the undeniable truth

I call it face messaging but the sender is probably not accessible

The host is not hard to look at , but I shouldn't take it to heart that much

Remember, I'm supposed to be reality challenged any ways

So what am I supposed to do, confirm my madness, or just deny its existence




How much responsibility should I assume?

I soiled wash cloths to day

I probably squashed a few bug accidently

I neglected a whining puppy to-day

I didn't want to watch religious programs on the TV to-day

I was snotty with a telemarketer to-day

Do you think I should be indicted for these offences

What if I get lustful thoughts of favourite weather lady, LOL




I want to be a free agent

I don't want to be short changed by accepting bad roles

The initiative always look attractive.

The role is not fulfillable because its facilitators have abandoned the cause

It's just fragments of hooks and spells that are not contiguous.

I'm blamed for this because I have resisted their repeated attempts to demean me

Why would I try open dialogue

With a person that thinks I'm nuts

She would only try to stifle me




Speaking of pride

Why would I grant you satisfaction

After you have been so snotty with me

It kinda works both ways

I would have thought you to be the type that doesn't want worship any ways




What gives you the right to mess with peoples components

You talk about men being debasing

It this some kind of self righteous lessoning?

Or am I giving you to much credit




I think you want the devil

Manifested in me

Again I say, there's nothing in for me




Why would I want to be a slave to some one else's needs?

I have it easy with just my own needs

There doesn't seems to be much in it for me

Except the threat of abuse if I fail




When I start to hear whimsical speculation and out of this world promises

I fear for my sensibilities

I like where I reside , I'm reality based to the end

Coming from a man that has mental issues must sound funny

But I like what I experience and know, I don't want to take a wild fling at fancy

Gees, first of all I'm mentally and emotionally to mature for the part

Give me credit, I have learned something

Its not my job to teach such nasty lessons

Why would I allow a process that would ultimately make me out to be a jerk

There is nothing what so ever in it for me



They knew I was contemptuous

Why did they summon me?  

What would I have to relate to a person who was into feeling superior to me?

I think he couldn't comprehend who I was and about

I'm not typical of what he stands for

I'm not broke, I just don't fit in



You had better take me out of the fray

Because I'll do what comes natural

And you won't like that



She wants me in total state of confusion

So I'm easily led

If I don't know my self, then I'm putty in her hands



A buggy system

I'm ruminating in a unclean apartment

The environment of my digs is getting quite oppressive

I have to open the windows and start straightening up

Get rid of the presence of offensive dust mites

I guess you have to take care of the micro before you can even attempt the macro





I think, I presume, she , is trying to make a fragile man out of me

She wants to mix me up so I'll lash out

I'll call her Tokyo Rose for the lack of a better name





S'he'll torture me till judgements come out of me



Its a vicious cycle she starts

She tortures me till I say something funny

She's got me dancing for the bullets

She's highly amused and probably highly aroused by my response

She's just plain perverted




Your a very charismatic charmer

God help those that don't jive with you

I have the misfortune to be the deviant one of your flock

All I want is for you to release me  



Why would I have emotional stake in something that is totally alien to me

I don't wonder how the powerful are doing

I just hope I don't get nasty attentions from them


I'm a very reasonable and understanding man

But not sure if my poor head can take the lessons

I'm not as sharp as I used to be and some of the lessons have a bludgeoning effect on my psyche

Why don't you just give up on me

I'll just end up rebelling

Then you'll have a problem to put down



It creates such a nasty atmosphere around me

that it must scare the nice people away



So your resorting to the psyche game

I'm pretty good at that game too

You may find me a little not so typical of what I'm supposed to be

I think your science will fail




Why would I participate in the making of me "The loser"

If I'm smart enough to see it coming ,why would I be stupid enough to let it happen?

I don't want to entertain the ill wishers



What does this prove?


Nothing admittedly

If you can see within

You probably can see without

Can I control this?

 Hell no, I barely control my being.

The beauty and the ugly


I suffer from an illness that causes what the Dr's call

"Poverty of Spirit"

Yes it's like a curse I imagine

But it does give insight

I can relate to the street people, and that's not all bad

True, I could fall prey to a unsavoury type with my empathy to the "under world"

I think its important not to look down at theses peoples

It's mostly out of misfortune that they fall into the trap



It plays out like a spiritual spy game

Good people are targets

And some get isolated by misadventure



Are you smoking pot with the heightened sense of oral need?

I just get a bad buzz of a low grade head ache

I don't think there will be any contact with this crap

At least not for me



The fear of dying is wasteful and time consuming

I know it predominates good living time some times

Of course if your gravely ill and all you have to do is think of such things then I feel for you

Not to say I want to share the experience




What would I do with out my good friends

My playful friends always channel her out to me

Its sort of an early warning

I thank you from the bottom of my heart





Why are you trying to string me along?

Its been years and no show

I think its because I won't agree to your ridiculous pre-conditions

 Your just wasting my time

I just wish you'd give up this deceitful process

I stopped believing years ago


I've been alone so long I don't know what lonely is

So says the cowboy within

But I'm not fixed on any thing

What ever the day brings


She leaks all over the place

Your on to her but you can't stop her

She's in the medias it seems

She gets in your head

So keep it straight

Or she'll enflame you with her madness



I think you nailed me on the head

You suggest that I'm a little obsessive compulsive about my non-conformity

Your so right, I'd buy you a drink



If I wasn't so wise to her tricks

I'd probably fall into her trap

And I would be taught a lesson

Then would the spell be done?

But maybe I error on the cautious side

Haven't had much fun lately

Maybe I'm a little gun shy

But no wonder, with the likes of her in my memory




You can't force forgiveness by arm twisting

I think you'd have to set me free first

Before you get a heart felt response from me


My philosophy is to live and let live

I don't want to sway by incantation or spell casting

And I don't like being messed with that way either

I like who I am and don't want to pretend I'm some kind of Casanova

I want to be natural, and have my feet on the ground

If you think I'm no fun , then find another fool



It was a topsey tuvy place to work

The convicted social paths were of a higher pecking order than I was

My extra efforts were not appreciated

I was expected to assume my demeaned position with out question 



I've been feeling better lately

Probably because of better self management

I've  talked of an oppressor, usually female, for quite a while

But now I feel better.

 She seems to be evaporating

Real or just perceived I feel more natural and able to trust and enjoy my female counterparts

Hopefully that's the end of the nightmare



She expects me to be respecting of her thoughts and feelings

But she doesn't respect mine



Of course she's going to misinterpret me

She's always under the influence

If we were to do a mind melt, there would be a nuclear explosion!



I don't want to believe

All I've experienced so far are lies and broken dreams

I'm a little to advanced to believe in the promise of a Camelot like adventure

I'm just to reality based to believe such things

My expectations are very modest and I don't want my mind to be poisoned with such distortions



Her ways on the surface look Avant-garde

But I think underlying is ancient manipulation

I hate to sound cynical but I think her feminist rhetoric is just that

I think she hooks for the man 



I don't feel I need to worship you

I guess I'm no fun to the likes of you

I'm a low key guy, and want to be accepted as I am

I just don't rise to your spirit of airs

When I was young I thought these struggles were about love and nature

But now I know it's just a god dam power struggle, one is as bad as the other ,and I'm the political football

You know If I could command all that I have to offer I'd probably go for it

But I seem to be held back by another power


What made them think I'd play along

And they must have known I'd probably fail at it any ways

I think they just want to make me my own worst enemy

A social pariah ,alienated


I won't do your will

Even if its getting the girl

I want to win on my own merit

That's the me reason I resist your will

There are many more good reasons to defy you


As long as you revel in and quaff the poison, I'll never trust you



Yes I have limitations

But I should never give up

I think what I strive for is very obtainable

If I manage my disabilities with a realistic attitude


Why would I want to endure the dangers of going under the volcano?

I'd have nothing to gain, but hardship, and torment


It's so idiotic to anecdote the poison while drinking more poison



Of course evil can be done unwittingly

Like the transmission of a virus

Or offer of firewater





She's trying to confuse me

There's a difference from being mentally ill, and evil doing

Evil doing is deliberate perpetration of an evil act

Compulsion is internally initiated as I believe

But it gets into the shadowy world of beliefs

And that's another can of worms she plays with 

That why I won't give her the time of day

She try's to corrupt reality itself



I embarrass you because you don't understand me

You don't pick up on my subtleties

You seem to think I'm incoherent

All I know ,you just can't win

When your labelled a devil dog

You could be smooth as glass , but that's odd of you

If your having a rough day, then there you go

If your witty, then your inappropriately angry

If your being smart, then that's just unbecoming of you

If your being kind, then your sneaky

If you rock , then you have rocks in your head

I could go on forever, buts that's probably weirdin  you out




Are you an unhappy wheelchair bound spell caster?

Its just that the hate seems to be directed towards my well being

Or am I just crazy for asking such a question?



She says she's concerned for my welfare

I think the only result of her interference is welfare

I'm not going to let her make me take a flying leap at a so called romantic image

I wasn't born yesterday, and really, I'm to wise for these stupid ideas




By nature I was always drawn to the wholesome nurturing  type

But it seems less wholesome and more dangerous types seem to try to lay claim to me

I guess in its self that's normal dynamics for a man to encounter

But it seems to get a little crazy for me and I must not let the force get into my thought processes



Look, if I embarrass you, then why do you want my presence?

If you want to earn charity points, try AA


You seem to think because your considered physically attractive you can get away with any thing

I really don't want to understand why your so mean

It's probably a bad idea to let you have my ear


I see a pattern and it raises a red flag to me 


Again ,the undying cold misery

How could you think it attracts?

It may lay claim to guilt tripping

But it can not sustain life

Unless you want me to be there with you

I find that very revolting

I don't want to take the blame for what others done to you

I feel I don't deserve that




Why don't I say something positive for the good people out there

I know there are good ones pulling for me

And I don't want to fatigue them with my negativity

That's the danger when your embattled

You risk driving the desirables away too



Your like a drunkin con artist

You'll tell me what you think I might want to hear

I don't want such distraction

In fact, I know your whisperings in my ear lead to traps



Why are they trying to make such a useless slob out of me?

If feelings are not to be reciprocated , then why be forced to pine away uselessly?



I think the sweet host has a head ache

And I think she's saying, "Oh, you’re a mean old daddy, but I like you "



You can't negotiate with a manipulator

It's like trying to swim in quick sand

I want no part of her

I don't want to be in her clutches

I don't care how nice the sweet host is



Lesson Learned


I was needed in that pool hall

I over estimated my importance in that place

I was just needed to feed the sharks



Why are you trying to give me the dithers?


I know my rights

I can stand up to the BS

I won't melt down



You know I think the dogged determination is masculine based

I doubt feminine forces are so dogmatic

It puts on a female face, but I think that's deception



Why are you trying to make such a futile man out of me

I think I have a good sense of what's doable




I sense your fragility

And I walk on egg shells because of it



Why are you wasting my time and your time

With your anti-morality  lessons

I agrees it pays to be an anti-hero sometimes

But you've been bothering me for years with your stupid teachings


I don't want to empower her motions to actions

She want to make a drunkin asshole out of me

If that's not cool by her, then thar she be



It's amazing how it works


How you can have every thing going for you

But a negativity makes you want for more

It almost like it wants you destroy what you have in pursuit of this, probably unobtainable




The negative got defeated


I wasn't feeling very good today

A friend offered to show me her winter garden from a previous promise

 Despite being of a negative mood I took up her offer

Well, talk about being turned around

The kind act along with the pleasant environment of the garden dissolved that demon in my thought processes

I was a little too involved with my thought processes to properly express my thankfulness

So thanks, kind one, you did good


I afraid to have close ones because I think they will be victimized by this thing too.

The poison that afflicts me is probably administered to friends because they are my friends



She's setting me up for a shaming

First there has to be a sparkie girl

She'll allure me

I'll respond and make a fool of my self

Then I'll get a shaming from the ball and chain

And I'll be shit faced and humbled

But I don't recognize a ball and chain

So I guess it won't work



She wants me to appear and feel incompetent

So I won't have the nerve to kick up about her incessant control

She's actually spoiling my life so she can hold on to absolute power




You know this dog that tries to rule me

will attack anybody that tries to help me

This dog does has a hold on me

It just can't seem to move me

I'm afraid it will lash out in fustration


She isolates me because of my knowledge of her ways

I say she only because of my assumptions



Sooo....,I've been holding this thing at bay for a long time

So where's my relief?

Will I ever be able to rest easy?


I respect my sisters as equals

But don't worship them as goddesses


Its not the powerless that I distrust

It's the god damn fascist that have power I don't trust 



She doesn't even want me to enjoy a sunny day

She'll make it creepy

She wants me to be miserable with

Not to mention her soul sucking guilt





I don't want to be playing those mind games forever

So I won't be taking the bait as enticing as it is

It's not that I don't like playing games with Femme fatales,

It's the underlying maliciousness I want to avoid



At the risk of sounding self righteous

I don't want to enable bad behavior

I don't want to reward bad treatment

I would help you with a hand up or encouragement

I've been the recipient of such help many times.

So I do know what it's like



Look ,if I'm misinterpreting your bizarre and intrusive messaging

Try hard copy, or yourself as a personal representation

I don't have a lot to go on


If you jumped of a cliff, should I ensue?

If you left me alone about it,

I wouldn't be sounding off like a self righteous son of a bitch



No matter how much you torture me with sleep deprivation

You won't force any actions out of me

Your just plain disgusting and what you want is demeaning to me or any other participant

Your hell bent on degrading me as if I'm some kind of a challenge

I think your jealous of me and my free wheeling ways

I have a clear conscious and that bothers you



Complicated thought processes


What do I have to regret?

I can't go back in time

Should have I shown the sign?

I bet she didn't even look to miss it

Should have I taken that chance?

One less failure to chalk up

Should have I fought harder to right that wrong?

Maybe it wasn't such a wrong to need to right

You know ,I think I'm going Buddhist

I guess that better than being a convict


What I really resent is being turned off and hid in the corner like a decommissioned robot

And they wonder why I revolt

They think I'm a rogue

I think I'm me



So you want me to go for the girl

Why do you have to make such a flake out of me?

Why aren't I allowed to stand on my two feet and use some of my stuff?

Why do I have to be franchised to use your guile?.

Why does it have to be your way or the highway?


You won't get near enough to feel the warmth of forgiveness

I still don't trust you

You don't want to reconcile with me

You want to avenge me

Your still sore about my rejection of your agenda



You seem to think you know my nature

You seem to think you have it figured out

I see through your lies in my ear

You can't tempt me into any thing

It not that I'm not corruptible

But I was always on to you

And you attempts to move me is a mind numbing bore


I don't think she has any use for a live one

I think she wants to scare ,kill, and cook one



It's not that I mind being alone

But I don't want to be stuck alone with her

She does her best to isolate me

I think she wants me to stew in my juices with drug dependencies

Dare I say she doesn't want to best for me

I don't want to sound desperate, but I don't want to co habituate her desperation



She's a force of nature and she messes with mine

She can cause attraction and repulsion in one sentence

She seems to be quick like a demon ,if you get my drift

I compensate for the misery she causes me by being witty

I must confess that I don't like her interference in my life at all

But the worlds a stage and as she manipulates my chances for social acceptance

I must put on a brave face, because it seems to be what the audience wants



Sweet hosts


These are all very fine women

I suppose if I was a con artist I'd be trying to take advantage

Not that these these women aren't able to to take care of them selves

I guess I'd look like a real cad trying. LOL


It's a stand off


I won't go under your roof and have to be subject to your conditions

You won't come here because I'm a lose canon you can't control

I suspect this will go on for a long time as long as you enable her



She calls for only one reason


She wants to spin a web

To entrap me and unsuspecting sweet host

She wants to channel through this host a nasty message

She wants implied that I'm a small man

And man does she want that to hurt!

I'd be willing to go on this date of fate

If I was allowed to stand on my two feet while she administers the punishment

But she's such a control freak ,she wants me totally under her spell

She won't proceed till I'm emotionally setup for her spell with the help of drunkenness

So she waits hoping for me to get desperate  I guess

I'm truly under siege


Your stance is Goddess

Your talk is like Tokyo Rose

You prophesies like a demon

I hope there isn't a man behind all that talent



I want to wish every one a Merry Christmas

Despite all the paranoia and underling suspicions

I guess these's are uneasy times with international threats in the news

I guess that fact makes it all the more important to get along with neighbors


  I don't want my mind interfaced with ,I presume a drug addicts'

I'm spaced out as it is.

It makes life harder with this soul sucking influence

It's forever ,forever tunes playing on the radio

Non stop self loathing ,and pity

I want the chance to reward myself for my perseverance


Road Kill again?


It seems like every time I get optimistic

And I dare raise my head in this preverbal no-mans land

I get lambasted by you



Don't you get it

I'm the designated dirty dog

All I got to do is stay sober

And pretend this sham is not happening

No doubt I'll be punished for my balking the ball



Why do you bluff?

You play the temptress, but your bluffing

Are you testing your powers?

I publicly call your posture from time to time

It's like baying at the moon, isn't it?



Beware of the overlooked


Never know what the hidden mole will bring

Just what are they feeding us, and what are the consequences?

Should I watch the news to-night or should I scan the internet for hidden meaning?

I probably should firewall my mental health instead

Its not that I want to be ignorant, but if I'm being poisoned buy misinformation

Would a dose of the truth be easier to ingest?

Not sure if I can find the truth, but I can tell the smell of BS


Wouldn't it be nice if I was at least ten years younger

It would be wonderful if had made my fortune

Any ways what ifs are what I have to offer

I won't say never ,but its a long shot I'm a bit short of



Obviously we don't meet at the minds

That's why the idea of a mind melt between us seems like an absurd idea to me

I suspect there would be a nuclear explosion if our minds meet.

Why would you want to force such an event on me, is beyond me

Unless you want to totally bum me out



She's an attention hog

She butts into my daily greetings

She forces her agenda whether it's wanted or not

Most of the time she's giving me hell

If I knew who she was ,I could properly address her issues

Instead of this inappropriate game I play with my acquaintances


I don't want to be messed with

I don't want to be badgered into being your patsy

Your a rough handler and I would resist your will strenuously

That's why I don't drink

So I won't be around turkeys like you



If I publicly out her

She would make an awkward stink

Its the kind of extortion she uses

Why would I want to out her?

To let people know what a fraud she is

And I'm not playing along

I find her most effective weapon is her ability to make you doubt yourself

She even can make you forget what your standing up for

It's only a temporary effect ,but you'll have to regroup your thoughts for a while


Could it be I was the devil to be?

Have I diverted  the mayhem

Buy being steadfast against the force


I think your only way out of this mess

Is the honest way out

Instead of trying to make me look like the aggressor

Try owing up to what you did




Issuer of the alluring eyes

I know for sure you don't know your affects

I enjoy the eye candy, knowing that I must restrain my response

I could easily make a fool of myself, probably embarrassing you

It's entirely my problem, and I know it.

I'm actually enjoying the element of danger you bring



I'm beginning to think the universe is more like a Seinfeld Episode 

A show about nothing, just what ever comes up

But this is to script

Maybe more like a improv

With maybe a theme to stick to

But that's an idle evening

Mornings have agenda and I seem to hate that

Maybe I'm counter to the agenda.

I think I need a job I like for once



I can't see the future

Just patterns that have repeated for eons


Mr., non involvement

I don't want to be involved in things that don't go any where

And I certainly don't want involvement in pursuits where I'll never win.

I don't seem to have a lot to offer in time and investment to idle things such as gambling or watching reality shows for instance

I invest time in things as computer problems, and rants on my web site because there is an element of control

I don't want to be taken for a ride, that's why I don't like roller coasters



I know where your meanness is coming from

It is with a lot of force and from nasty places

I'm sure you not aware of its affect on others

I have to be careful and not get to exposed

Or I'll be encumbered with self righteous feelings of a martyr


I want to remind you

She's perverts of reality

A concealer of truth

Under the guise of a teacher


I'd like to assist you

But she has her force shield around you

My ears go deaf when you speak

She's likes full control, that why she doesn't like me

She knows I'd say she's the problem

And things are not going to get better as long as she is in control





Stalin was the wolf that coup the Soviet Union after the Bolshevik Revolution

A staff infection is opportunistic

A bucket of shit is opportunity ,for maggots

What am I saying?

Keep your head on straight


Yes, its a phenomenon

But it needs power of exaggerated perception

It's really a squeaker

But vainly wants to seem to be more meaningful and powerful than it really is

It wants our excited minds to blow it up to mythical proportions



Like I said before

You knew no boundaries, and felt very entitled

But you show as a very rough bully ,now

Your charm is gone




Me ,Threatening?


I was riding the angry horse all the time.

And not vice versa

I haven't raised an angry hand ,or voice

So I pat myself on the back

Because it wasn't easy



I'm not sharing my inner self with predators

I do not want to be in with them

In any capacity or role




You know I'm not given much credit

I see the writing on the wall

Your cryptic messages are a ploy to prolong agony

I think we all see through you

Your not so much a mystery but a bore as far as I'm concerned


Could it be that I'm not my own man when I see you

Maybe I suffer his jealously of your sensuality

Maybe I suffer his insecurity, while you cavort your way through the aisles

Maybe I'm disgusted with the whole scenario

If I wanted to watch soaps, then I'd stay home


I'd be dammed either way

So why have it on record that I complied?

If then I'm stationed to be a lesser, then at least an objector


Their relentless hounds

With the foul taste of my latest rebuttal

They seek to entrap me in humiliation at least

Its like I'm setting off their traps

One by one, some I'm sure are for me exclusively

It's like I'm dammed to these encounters forever

My curse is being too cagy.

 But what if I let them trap me?

But alas my sense of self worth won't let me


Gees give me a break

Why are you type casting me as such a knuckle dragger?

Ya ; I'm a regular guy

But I like to think I'm my own man

You try to squeeze play me out after a sleepless night of your torture

Can't you do your own dirty deeds?

If I were to type cast you, I'd call you, "Uncle Pervy"


Well ,What could BBB mean?

I'll call it a big beautiful barbeque

Might as well make the notion an obtainable good

Rather than a vain dive into smut land. LOL

She's trying to make us go crazy on our own desires.

If you remember waking up to 333 or 444 or so on your digital clock often

It's because you don't remember waking up to 156 or 357 on much more numerous occasions

What an I saying, don't let her drive you crazy with numbers, coincidences and other mind games

Dirty Tricks of the Supernatural Kind

Weather, as centered in Tatamagouche,NS

Ahh, perception of mine. Is it so foreign ,

and what does it matter to me or the other?

A problem to whom? Do we really poison,

or do other perceptions of ours really the distortions?


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Sweet host of blinded nightingale,

Too sweet for determined unholy communion.

There's light in your eyes that cancels the spell you undone

Your warmth of retained sunlight will set you free



goto Canadian Culture

Lady above me

"What a strong young man are you" ,said lady above me.

"But I can talk like the wind and reason its ways ",said I

"But your such a fine horse for me", said lady above me.

"But I offer so much to future children ,and the world ",said I

"No ,my stead ye shall be", said lady above me.

So I refused her push to cross bridges I dare not give way

and I've been feeling sting of her mean penal whip ever since

Doubts of the forward time.
Sometimes looking ahead is scary
To know is even scarier
To doubt is, is scary to.
What's not to fear?
Well, none of us really knows at all.
We were always in the same kind of
danger, all the time.
Like the threat of a falling star
Will it destroy us, or
renew lifes wonder?



Hot breath of Jealousy 

I know it conceded to think there is jealousy of one self

But I'll risk flattering myself to say it's so.

I don't how I could make it any more seething hot under my collar, anyways

I really feel the cold heat of resentment,

And I don't know why I should be so aware

I don't really want to be consumed by another's poison

Like I should really care

Really, I don't deserve this


JB's Pool Room
I remember it like rock heaven, with pixie candied sisters vamping about.

 They were in such vogue. Ah yes, sweet remember, but sad refrain.

 Glories impossible to behold ,and to wild to contain.

 But what black heart cursed the collective mind of this rock heaven

and try make guilt out of our young impulse.

Yes you scorched my mind as you had scorched the earth in war, as ,I am to believe.

Then if you are such a misunderstood warrior Then face you chosen foe!!

Set Crazy

One sure way to make a person appear crazy,

Is make him believe he's up against unseen cosmic forces

He would look like a crazy cat boxing and lunging at spirits


Touched heart

You may be able to keep the horse out of the coral

But I doubt you can keep the mare out of his heart


The nature of Voodoo 

If you believe the mind is more than sum of its parts

Then Voodoo can be more than mere suggestive psyche

Should this be allowed?

Depends on intent of source

If I motion that your stupid ,and should folly

Then I do bad voodoo

If I say ,invoke spirit force ,for malicious intent

Then I'm an evil sorcerer

I don't know a lot on this subject,

but know enough that BS is only threatening ,if believed


Merging into new stream

A life stream can get very predictable with the same bends, nothing rapid

Merging onto a more rapid flow, with erratic bends can be exciting

The predictability certainly disappears ,as the timing ,and the course quickens

More jeopardy mixed with more promise

Much less self assuring control, and more need ,just to cope.

Good rest is more important, and trust of self and peers is a must


Why has the rabbit rebelled? 

Having to stay in hat,

To appear only for the magicians benefit

is reason enough

To be hid and messed with

is also intolerable

The magicians ego is like nerve toxin

Why wouldn't the rabbit rebel ?


I think I was labelled crazy

Simply because I cause the machine to tilt

That is why I have a, "I don't care," attitude


Some times thugs hijack good causes

To further another underlying agenda

Their just hacks for the man!!! 

I have a question

Why so much unnecessary information?

Is it a bad dogs punishment?

Or an attempt to distract from the truth

I would love to see the light of day, unadulterated

I'd love to smell the spring ,untainted

I'd love to feel the warmth ,unmolested

This is such a straight forward question

That it burns my shorts that I didn't think to ask it before this